Today is the first day …

Wow!  The last year has been an interesting adventure.  One that I certainly didn’t chose, however one that obviously chose me.  Growth comes in all shapes and sizes and I kept feeling like I was growing and learning and I would then look back a few weeks later and realize how archaic my thinking was and how much growth I still had to do.  Would I ever get there?  Would I ever be in front of the pain?  Would I ever feel like I could look at things and feel like laughing instead of just feigning a smile or a laugh because it was appropriate in that situation.  The answer is yes …from the time the ‘situation’ started, it took 67 weeks to be precise.  Sixty-seven weeks.  That is in excess of 460 days.  Four hundred and sixty days of feeling shitty and wondering if and when life would ever feel good again.  It’s funny what happens when you turn the corner, though.  And a relief.  And my resolution is to find one thing to blog about every day.  Sometimes it will be interesting to you and sometimes it won’t.  It might be a recipe, a simple gift that the Universe has delivered to me, a concept, a lightbulb that went on or a kind word or thought from a friend.  It might be that my 4-year-old niece had a 30-minute temper tantrum because she didn’t get the size ice cream that she wanted (it was too small) …and that it’s now sitting in the freezer uneaten.  And that I find the tantrum absolutely hilarious.  Why is this funny?  Because sometimes that’s EXACTLY what I want to do as a woman 10+  times her age.  That tantrum probably had little to do with the ice cream size and everything to do with something else that she was feeling frustrated about and couldn’t voice.  I’ve been there and lashed out on something that had nothing to do with the real issue.  It might be that my 11-year-old nephew loves crystals and attaches the little strand of beads I put together for him on his pocket each day because they make him feel good.  It might be that my 9-year-old nephew asks me every week to come to school events with him …and that when I’m there he gives me the most delicious cuddles that make my heart melt.  This blog is for me because I have amazing things in my life on a daily basis …and there are times that I don’t give praise enough to the little moments that make life amazing and bountiful.  So this is about that …the sukha (Sanskrit: happiness, pleasure, ease, or bliss) I have in my life and how great my life is.  xoxo

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